搞笑英語劇本

　　劇本主要是由臺詞和舞臺指示組成的，是戲劇藝術創(chuàng)作的文本基礎，編導與演員演出的依據(jù)。與劇本類似的詞匯還包括腳本、劇作等等。它是以代言體方式為主，表現(xiàn)故事情節(jié)的文學樣式。以下是小編精心整理的搞笑英語劇本，歡迎閱讀與收藏。

　　搞笑英語劇本 1

　　Justice Is The Winner

　　by Cecilia Liu

　　Bunny Cheng: Bunny Chen

　　Eliza Lin: Daughter

　　Celine Tu: Reporter et Aside

　　Sano Hsieh: Small gangster

　　Trent Cheng: Big gangster

　　SCENE I

　　A mother is doing exercise in the living room when the phone is ringing. And her daughter is in the school now.

　　Mom: Hello~

　　Caller: （A boy is crying.） Ha! Your kid is here. Do you hear his voice? If you want to save your kid, prepare the ransom.

　　Mom: Are you crazy? I dont have a son!!! Dont try to cheat me. Stupid guy!

　　The mother is very angry and hung up the phone. But later… the phone is ringing again…

　　Mom: Hello~

　　Caller: Hello~ Are you busy now?

　　Mom: （I recognize the voice.） You are a fraud, right? Do you want to trick me again? Is it fun? Dont do such a boring thing, O.K.? I wont believe you.

　　Caller: Really? Listen to this.（A girl is crying on the phone, "mom, help me~ help me~）

　　Mom: Oh~ you are a good actor. This time is better but I still wont fall into your trap to rob me of my money! If you call again, I will call the cop. Do you understand? （Hang up the phone more angrier.）

　　But the voice sounds like her daughters and the mom is not disturbed. She decides to go to the elementary school to see her daughter. The mom got there…

　　Mom: Eliza~

　　Eliza: Mom~ why you are here? Are you missing me? Do you come here to pick me up?

　　Mom: Ya~ are you happy in the school? Lets go home. I want to tell you something on the way home.

　　Mom tells Eliza about the phone scam and wants her to be careful from now on.

　　Because the mother didnt believe the two gangsters really kidnapped her kid, the gangsters were furious. So they decided to kidnap her daughter this time.

　　The gangsters have found the school her daughter studies in, and observed for many days. Today is the day they plan to kidnap the child.

　　The big gangster always focuses on what hes doing but the small gangster is usually absent-minded.

　　Big gangster: Hey! Concentrate!! （The big gangster hit the small gangsters head）

　　Small gangster: Ouch! O.K. O.K.

　　At this moment, the girl appears.

　　Small gangster: （Check the picture.） Hey!! Buddy!! Look! Is that her?

　　Big gangster: Ha! Ha! Ha! Its hunting time.

　　Small gangster: Im so excited!! Oh~ what a beautiful girl. Just like a fairy. My sweetheart… Buddy do you know? I feel that I get butterflies in my stomach!

　　Big gangster: （Hitting the small gangsters head again.） Hey! Wake up!! Stop day-dreaming. Lets make a move!

　　Small gangster: Oh~ my baby~ Im coming!!

　　Big gangster: Hey!! Lady!! Can you do me a favor?

　　Eliza: Sure! What can I do for you?

　　Small gangster: （Murmuring） This beautiful lady has a beautiful heart.

　　Big gangster: Sorry. Ignore what he said.

　　Eliza: Never mind!

　　Big gangster: Thanks! I want to go to Tunghai University. Do you know how can I get there?

　　Eliza: Oh… you should go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.

　　Big gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, turn right and we will see a supermarket at the end of the street. And…

　　Eliza: No! No! No! Go straight until the traffic light, then turn right until you see a convenience store at the corner and turn left. Keep going straight and you would see the university.

　　Small gangster: Go straight until the first traffic light, then turn left and go straight to the end of the street, then we can see the university.

　　Eliza: Oh, my! No! Wrong again! You two are really a stupid guy.

　　Big gangster: Its too complex. I cant remember all the directions. Im a foreigner. And I have an important presentation there. Could you go with us, guide us there? Please~

　　Eliza was confused. But she is a kind person and she likes to help people.

　　Eliza: Umm… let me think… okay!! Lets go!

　　Small gangster: How kind of you!! My little girl.

　　Big gangster: Sorry. Just ignore him. Thank for your help.

　　Eliza goes with the gangsters.

　　In the gangsters car, the small gangster suddenly shows a sharp knife. And shouts, "Dont move!" Eliza is shocked and starts screaming.

　　Eliza: What are you doing?

　　Small gangster: Im kidnapping you!

　　Eliza: Oh~ I am so scared.

　　Small gangster: （Talk to the big gangster.） Did you hear that, she is scared?

　　Big gangster: Ya~ we are professional.

　　Eliza: Not funny! Im hungry. I want to go home! I want to go home!

　　Small gangster: Shut up. Dont be so noisy!

　　Eliza keeps crying.

　　Small gangster: You! Get out of the car!

　　Big gangster: （Hit the small gangster angrily!） Idiot! I have a stupid partner. （Disappointed）

　　Eliza: I agree! （Nod head.）

　　Big gangster: Dont cry baby, I give you a lollipop.

　　Eliza: Thank you. How kind of you.

　　SCENE III

　　Mother is preparing dinner.

　　Mom: Eliza! Eliza! Time for dinner! Im hungry! Hurry up!

　　No one answers her. And she realizes there is something wrong.

　　Mom: Eliza, where are you? Dont play hide and seek with me! Its not funny. Im hungry.

　　As the mother is finding her daughter, the phone rings.

　　Mom: Hello~ this is Anderson. Im busy finding my daughter. Dont bother me!

　　Big gangster: Are you finding your daughter? Ha! Ha! Ha… she is right here.

　　Mom: Good job! Tell her its time for dinner. Im hungry!

　　Big gangster: Hey! You are clueless. I have already kidnapped your daughter, Eliza Anderson!

　　Mom: Hey! Buddy! Dont trick me!

　　Big gangster: Sure! Listen! （The gangster takes the phone to Eliza.）

　　Eliza: Hello! Mom! Im here! They are so kind. They gave me a lollipop.

　　The gangster takes the phone away.

　　Big gangster: Do you believe me now? If you want your daughter to come back for dinner. You have to prepare the ransom of NT $ 20,000,000.

　　Mom: Too expensive! 20% off.

　　Big gangster: Are you buying clothes?

　　Mom: Bargain is my hobby.

　　Big gangster: No negotiation you should bring the ransom to Tunghai Lake at 8:00 pm. And remember dont call the cop. Or you will find your daughter in the lake.

　　Mom: O.K. See you then!

　　At Tunghai Lake. The gangsters and Eliza are baking fish from the lake because they are hungry. At this time, the mother is coming.

　　Mom: Ha! （Mom shouts.）

　　The gangsters and Eliza are shocked. And the small gangsters fish is falling down on the floor.

　　Small gangster: Oh,! My fish! Whos there?

　　Mom: Its me, Bunny Anderson, Elizas mother, Andersons wife. Where is my daughter? Release my daughter.

　　Eliza: Hi! Mom, Im here. Do you want to come here to eat fish?

　　Big gangster: Where is the ransom?

　　Mom: Release my daughter first!

　　Big gangster: Give me the ransom first!

　　Mom: No way!

　　And the battle begins.

　　Mom: Justice is always the winner.

　　Eliza: Oh~ Yeah! Mom, you win!

　　Celine: Ha! I got it! I got it! A new…… headline.

　　Celine: I am at Tunghai Lake. Earlier, there was a violent fighting. A watermelon knife V.S. A B.B.Q. fork. According to the witnesses, a mother fought with the gangsters for her daughter. And the mother won. Now, lets interview the persons involved.

　　Celine: Do you feel regretful? Do you feel sorry to this society?

　　Small gangster: I……

　　Celine: I…… I know. You are very sorry and regretful. How about you? （Turn to the big gangster.）

　　Big gangster: None of your business. （Run to the wall.） Leave me alone.

　　Eliza: Me! Me!

　　Celine: What do you want to say?

　　Eliza: Uh…My mom is so cool. She came to save me!

　　Mom: My turn. My turn.

　　Celine: O.K. O.K. What do you want to say after winning the fight?

　　Mom: Well……

　　Celine: Well, you are very happy and proud of yourself to be the winner in the battle.

　　Mom: Yes. And the gangsters…

　　Celine: Oh, the gangsters are very stupid and silly.

　　Mom: Right. And they…

　　Celine: They want to trick you, but…

　　Mom: But… enough. Im hungry. I want to go home with my daughter.

　　Celine: Next time, if you receive a phone call from a scam artist, here are the things you can do to avoid being tricked. First, stay clam and be skeptical about it. The caller hopes to fool you with a moving story, causing you to forget your good judgment. A little doubt can protect you. Second, verify the story. Call the organization to make sure the story is true. Third, report it to the police. And dont deal with the villains on your own. One phone call will often expose a trap quickly. However, to tell the truth, the mother is really very brave. She is my idol. I want to keep her sign. This is reporter Celine reporting from Tunghia Lake for TVAS.

　　搞笑英語劇本 2

　　Opening remarks of the first act

　　narration：Long long ago there lived a beautiful princess, and there is a big family. But the hostess died. Her son is handsome and goodness. Her husband married another wife. The stepmother is very cruel to the son. One day their King will hold a ball and choose a prince for his daughter.

　　B: Girls in the other side look at me, look at me, look at me …I am David, handsome and cool. I try my best to loose my weight for this ball. This is my photo three days ago.

　　C: I am rich and humor. Look at my snow-white teeth, because I use the famous toothpaste---Peer.

　　A: Oh, Can I go to the ball?

　　B and C: No!

　　B: Look at yourself. The clothes are so bad and dirty.

　　C: Yes, yes.

　　B: Your hair …(Use your hand to dial a few times)

　　C: What a mass!

　　B: Your face

　　C: Black and dirty, you seemed like a frog.(B takes out a photo of the frog)

　　B: How can you go to meet the beautiful princess?

　　Stepmother: OK, children, let,s go!

　　C: Mum, what about him?

　　Stepmother: You, just stay at home to do some housework.

　　A: But, Mum, I want to go there.

　　Stepmother: Oh, OK.

　　B and C: Mum, why do you take him? Don,t you think he will loose our face?

　　Finally, they go without A.

　　Act 2: The Fairy Descends to Earth

　　A: Why Why Why I can,t go to join that ball.

　　narration： At this time a beautiful fairy appear.

　　Fairy: Ahh, my poor child! What things make you so sad?

　　A: The beautiful princess will held a ball, but my stepmother and my brothers don,t let me go there.

　　Fairy: My good boy, let me help you. (Take out a set of formal attire)

　　A:(Overjoyed, preparing to attend the dance party.)

　　Fairy: Wait for a moment. Don,t forget your shoes.(Take out a pair of Nike shoes)

　　A: Thank you, my respectful fairy.

　　Act Three Love at First Sight

　　narration：A is wearing beautiful clothes going to the palace as quickly as possible, but his brother and stepmother have already arrived.

　　entrance guard：The next, the Trade,s first son.

　　B: Oh, beautiful princess. I have greatly admired you for a long time, and you are like a Pizza in my heart.

　　Princess: Please wait for a moment, what talent and skill you have?

　　B: I,ll sing a song for you. (Singing) Only you

　　Princess: Pass.

　　entrance guard：The next. The Trade,s second son.

　　C: La la I am a

　　Princess: Pass.

　　narration：At that time A was appearing on the front door of the palace. All the people were shocked by his handsome and demeanor.

　　A: Beautiful princess. Can I sing a song for you?

　　Princess: Sure, please.

　　A: (Helping the princess down from the throne, the two of them looked at each other and walked in a circle, starting to sing).

　　narration：All the people seem to disappear. Only A is left in the princess,s eyes. And so is the princess. Dang dang dang the clock strikes 12. A is waken from the happiness.

　　A: Princess, I must go now. I am very sorry.

　　Princess: Wait

　　narration：In a hurry A dropped one of his shoes. But the princess was following him.

　　A: (A look at princess and that shoe he has to go into the forest.)

　　The Lost Shoes in Act Four

　　narration：The next morning, the guard brings the shoe to the princess.

　　royal guard：My princess, this is the shoe left by Yang Master yesterday.

　　Princess: That,s great! God save me! Go and declare: Whoever can wear this shoe will be my prince.

　　Ending of Act Five

　　narration：The guars declared this thing in the whole city and it caused a big sensation. The two prince of the Trade are more excited.

　　B: Oh, it,s so beautiful. I,m sure I can wear this shoe.

　　C: Do you think it is possible? Only I can wear that shoe.

　　Stepmother: Stop talking, my dear sons. Go to get ready for it quickly. The guards will come in no time.

　　narration：A was sweeping floor more and more slowly. The guards came in.

　　royal guard：This is the shoe. Come and try it.

　　narration：At this moment B caught it quickly, tried it and murmured.

　　B: why can,t I put it on?

　　Stepmother: My dear, let me help you.

　　narration：The mother pulled B to the corner cutting his toe. Then B put the shoe very hardly.

　　B: My princess, let,s go.

　　Princess: No, you are not my prince. Take off the shoe.

　　C: Let me try. Let me try. (murmuring)I cannot wear it either.

　　narration：The mother pulled C to the corner again, and cut his heel.

　　C: My princess, let,s go.

　　Princess: No, you are not my prince, either.

　　royal guard：Who else doesn,t try to put on the shoe here?

　　A: (In a low voice) Let me have a try.(A put the shoe without any difficulty. It just fit him. And A took off his dirty clothes again.)

　　Princess: Wow, you are my prince.

　　Princess and Prince got married. Then they live together and they are very happy.

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